I am having problem with controlling my anger for the past few weeks, if I am not angry I am just really moody.

I think the main reason was due to me staying late at work for the past few weeks (and some weekend working from home) and the boys being somewhat harder to handle which makes Lina really stressed out (and I couldn’t be there to help her). I know there are people in IT who work harder and longer hours than me, but it’s just not for me at this moment.

And so I took a decision to resign from my work – I know to some this sounds like a big (and perhaps stupid or hasty) decision especially during this sort of financial crisis (but hey it’s nearly over right?). To some it seems foolish to forego job security, I also asking myself as well since then – in worldly terms – I am actually doing quite well at work, I’ve been given more responsibilities and I get on really well with my manager. But the question is, at what cost?

Last Friday was also really tough for me – I had to deal with a very frustrating situation, that I better not describe here, as really want to move on and forget that. And I think I had handled the situation really poorly – I let my anger controlled me and it was affecting me throughout the weekend up until today – I think and I pray that this is it. Sure the outcome is not what I would have liked – but there is a lesson for me to learn here and maybe it is a rebuke at the same time. There is still a bitterness and angry inside me – but I think at least in prayer I have asked for forgiveness for myself and the parties involved.

I know I have been depending on my own strength a lot and I have been thinking too highly of myself countless of times – I am sinful, utterly sinful person. Life is good, eternal life is better – how true is that seemingly over simplistic statement.

I will be taking November and December off – I tried not to worry much about work and things like that. I want to trust that God will provide in His good timing – note this is my personal belief not a theological statement!

I will also take this time to take a mini retirement – I wasn’t joking about that – I’ve been planning to do it sometimes next year but it has been pushed forward by circumtances. I’ve got the idea of mini retirement from The 4 Hour Workweek – Escape 9 – 5 – not a Christian book – the concepts there are mostly quite selfish, but there are good things in it too, mini retirement is one of them.

If you read this – please don’t ask me or Lina about work for the next 2 months – we are having our holiday 🙂

Please pray that I can be calm and be self controlled again. Please pray that I can be prayerful. Please pray that I can use the next 2 months wisely and not using it for my self pursuits (if I have it my way – I guarantee you that I can be as busy as I am working now – I just seem to always find ways to busy myself somehow – can you believe that I actually do programming at my spare time rather than say playing computer games?).