I had lunch with a couple of guys last week and I had a really rough time then. I do love having lunch with this bunch. However this lunch last week was particularly bad. The group just went on and on with porn discussion – for the whole lunch hour!

It was started by a comment on how the women are starting to bare more skin (now that summer has come). The conversation spiraled down quickly to lustful discussion of women and all kinds of porn. I felt really troubled with the topic being discussed and was very upset at the fact that I did not do anything about it.

Though I wasn’t actively participating – I DID stay and listened AND not saying any objection whatsoever. I am angry at my own silence. They did notice that I was quiet and they thought I was just being shy. Did I say why I was uncomfortable? No. I should have said that I was uncomfortable or I could have just walked away.

Yes, the relationship between me and the group might be strained after that, but so what? I really hate this part of myself, on always trying to please everyone and avoiding conflicts. So why was I uncomfortable? Firstly, porn is just plain wrong. To those who think it isn’t wrong, let me ask you this question, if you have a child, would you allow him or her to participate in a porn video? If you are sane, you’d say no – are you not then having a double standard? Anyway, I am really lousy at constructing arguments, this is an excellent reading Undressing Pornography.

Secondly, porn and lust were a part of my life before, even after I became a Christian, for quite some time I still really struggled with it. With God’s grace though, I slowly overcame it, although I would be a liar if I say that I have never fall ever since.

The conversation brought up these memories that I really would rather to forget.