Physically older

I noticed starting the last year or so, my physical recovery time has been getting longer. Sunday sport has taken more toll on me than before, I think my reaction has been tad slower as well. 

I am quite happy with my current form, I have been able to be more consistent with the weights. I think I’ve got a routine that works for me, although I am thinking of re-orientating my workout to include more core exercises which focus on stability and balance rather than strength/muscle building, but I don’t know how to do that yet, got to read up.

One sign of getting older is this annoying pain on my right ankle area since few months ago. I am not sure what’s causing it,I’ve got a feeling the one Sydney basketball meetup that I went to few months ago, might have something to do with it, but it could also due to other things like incorrect running technique. The pain has prevented me from running too long on treadmill, which is quite disappointing as running is definitely THE aerobic exercise for me. I have been doing elliptical instead, but it’s just not as satisfying.

I think a visit to physio is long overdue.

The Five Love Languages of Children

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell recently. I borrowed the book from my company’s library.

I’ve listened the audio book of the original Five Love Languages which is directed for couples. This book is a spin off from that.

I’ve learned a great deal from the original book. Especially I found the categorizing how people want to be loved into these 5 languages making the abstract nature of love to be more understandable (and actionable). I was also aware that the concept can be easily transferable to different groups of people (ie not only to your spouse). 

So naturally I am excited reading "the children version" of the book. I did find it to be helpful and practical. For example, from the section on punishing the children, Gary and Ross suggested that parents should first of all assure that child felt loved (making sure his/her "love tank" full) before delivering the punishment. They also suggested against using the primary love languages as a mean to punish children, for example: if a child’s primary language is physical touch, then punishing the child physically might have a more detrimental effect than intended. Some other useful points include:

  • Age and sex determine the appropriateness of showing your love, example: if have a boy whose primary language is physical touch, when he comes to his teenage years, refrain from showing your love physically in front from his friends or in public.
  • If you are a single parent, seek help from your church or community, especially when your child is entering the teenage life, which he might withdraw himself from you.
  • Use persuasion/request, command, gentle physical, punishment and behaviour modification in that order.

I found the authors have communicated the true sense of love quite strongly in this book, that is: love is all about the other person. You want to learn how to communicate love to your children for their sake not your own. The same message I also found from Gary’s original book.

I think the book can be made more concise, by cutting down the testimonies and stories, I just found them repetitive and too many. Although this book I think was intended for parenting in general, the authors being Christians themselves, they communicated how their faith made an impact on their understanding of love. They quoted some Bible verses to show how some of the points are supported by the Bible. I applaud the efforts from Christian authors writing to not necessarily Christian audience to do this. However I found that the usage of the Bible passages is often out of context (although I can’t remember an example and I have returned the book, but most of these out of context quotations were from the Old Testament).

I would strongly recommend this book for parents. It’s all about knowing your children better and then love them in the way that they understand best.

Book 14 finished!

Side note, I am also reading What Colour is Your Parachute, which is a very2 good and thorough book on career in specific and life in general. I think I need to buy this book (currently borrowing it from library) as the vast material in it needs to be digested slowly perhaps in the span of months. I think now my reading time would be taken by my SCJP Exam prep, so i won’t be able to finish too many books.

2nd year looking back

Well, it is getting easier, I wasn’t in tears as often as last year. Perhaps I can now move on a little bit. Instead of focusing on the sadness, perhaps I can think of the good times (and the bad times) spent with my dad. Below are random memories and reflections.

Having read (or listened to) the 5 Love Languages, I gained a better insight of myself. I think my primary languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. My dad definitely not a touch-y person. I wonder what his primary languages are, perhaps one of them is act of service, thinking how mom making sure everything is in order for him, he is quite particular in some of the things.

I remember he had a favourite chair in the living room. He strongly prefers that no one sit on it, especially our guess’. He always wipe the chair with his handkerchief (or maybe lap) before his sitting on it. When he got home from work or tennis, he’d sit there and read his newspaper.

I remember when I was little (maybe SD) I used to sleep on the same bed with my dad. And apparently he didn’t like it much, since I often pushed him to the edge of the bed (unconsciously of course!). I also remember that I often fall asleep watching TV (either on the floor or on my mom’s bed) and he had to carry me to my bed which was on the other room.

Evangelism using the 4 R’s

We were talking about evangelism at the leaders meeting few days ago. I remember a simple approach on explaining the gospel to someone. This is taken from Six Steps To Talking About Jesus (excellent course by the way, recommend this resource to your bible study leaders).

Basically we read only 1 passage, the passage is from Ephesians 2:1-10 (NKJV):

1 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

And then you explain the passage by using 4 R’s:

  1. Rebellion vs 1-3
  2. Rescue vs 4-5
  3. Resurrection vs 6-7
  4. Response vs 8-10

Engage 08 – John 4

Some points from the talk by Mark Driscoll.

When reading the narrative, Christians need to realize that they should identify themselves as the Samaritan woman.

The Samaritan woman idolizing something (can’t remember what, maybe stable relationship?) that’s why she offer herself to the 5 husbands.

Jesus offers living water to the Samaritan woman. Living water is a metaphor of the Holy Spirit. The book of John contains few metaphors for the Holy Spirit.

The subject of conversation now turns to worship (can’t remember the explanation from Mark as to why the woman changes the conversation from discussing her situation to worship).

Worship = giving glory + sacrifice

Worship is both gathered (with other people, at church for example) and scattered (at work for example). Scattered nature of worship (everywhere & everytime) means in a sense, Chritians are in full time ministry.

Beware of your functional saviour (the one that you worship) as you WILL ultimately offer sacrifice to him/her/it. Some functional saviour can be: career, spouse, children etc2. Christians are to worship God and offer ourselves to God (Romans 12).

In conclusion, Christians need to ask themselves:

  1. What do you long for most?
  2. Where do you run for comfort?
  3. What makes you angry with God?
  4. What do you sacrifice for?
  5. Whose approval do you seek?
  6. What makes you happiest?